Chapter Endings (Goodbye 2016)

For many years, I have known that time is the greatest gift one can give. However, I have chronically and selfishly hoarded my time more and more until it was neither invested in myself or other people. And because of this, I have become more distant and more unsettled in my spirit.  

See, I've spent quite a few years feeling guilty for things I have no control over and avoiding the things I could control; talk about time and energy drains. And as I reflect on all these things, I can't help but to think of all the people who have made a positive impact to this life journey of mine; I sincerely hope that I have, in return, positively impacted their lives as well.

But this year proved to be quite the challenging year for me (and a great many other people as well). And my lack of meaningful time investments have led me to live an unhealthy lifestyle. So I am now actively endeavoring to take my control back for those things I have the ability to control.

And as we embark on the coming year, if this has been your struggle as well, I encourage you to do the same. So that together, in 2017, we can truly be fearlessly bold, amazingly beautiful, empatheticlly kind, sincerely compassionate, incredibly productive, unapologetically forgiving and intentionally courageous.

Love & Peace

Niki B.

Time: The Disease of Procrastination

I began taking public transportation to work last month, after having semi-relocated. Prior to this transition, I spent many hours processing the upcoming changes and what they meant for my life. Earlier mornings, longer days, extended commute, more interaction with strangers and less time at home. This ultimately boiled down to one thing - I would have less time to procrastinate. Less. Time. To. Procrastinate. A more productive life was one positive thing out of all the changes I had been preparing myself to accept. For several years, I've been saying that a more productive life is what desired. And the thought made me excited but as soon as I'd become excited, I'd remember - earlier mornings, longer days, extended commute, more interaction with strangers and less time at home. =)

I've always praised myself on having been so productive when I was a student. I maintained a decent GPA while working full-time and taking care of my other responsibilities. I even managed to have something resembling a social life. I made things happen and I got things done. Efficient and effective. But once I graduated, I began putting things off. And the time I spent procrastinating multiplied exponentially.

It's been years since I was a student. Years since my life was a finely tuned time efficiency machine. And just so we're clear, I procrastinated as a student as well, however, the time I spent doing so was far less. 

And while some things will take a lot longer to get used to than others, I'm excited with the challenge. I'm excited to see how much my productivity will rise. I look forward to tracking my progress in attaining certain goals that I've been putting off. 

So, if you're like me and need a reason to buckle down and get productive, I challenge you to find that reason. Together, we can take back control of our lives (as much as any one person can take control of their life). And whatever we do, let's remember to be bold, beautiful, encouraging, uplifting, empowering, present living, future focused, productive, efficient, effective and well. 

Love & Peace

Niki B.

Authenticity Required

For many years I struggled with wanting to please people. Fearful that if I didn't make every effort possible to be the person that others wanted me to be, they wouldn't accept me. However, what I have come to realize is having that type of mentality is poisonous to my life. No matter how may people talk about us for not living and/or acting a certain way, we must remain committed to being our authentic selves.

Now, please don't get me wrong - being authentic doesn't mean that we shouldn't be adaptable. Additionally, I'm not saying that we should never concern ourselves with what other people think. After all, people's impressions of us play a huge part in our lives, specifically in how we network and progress in the world (both socially and professionally). Adaptability is one of the best qualities we can possess. Whether we are hanging out with friends or conversing with colleagues, having the ability to modify our behavior and the way in which we communicate effectively in any environment is a must. However, we mustn't compromise who we are (fundamentally) in an effort to please others.

Life truly becomes increasingly joyful when we stop pretending to be someone else. When we are no longer fearful of what other people think about the person we used to be, the person we are and the person we are becoming, we have the courage to be our authentic selves. So I challenge you, as I have challenged myself, to be authentically you. And while we are being our authentic selves, it is imperative that we remember to be bold, beautiful, kind, encouraged, courageous, genuine, conscious and well!

Love & Peace

Niki B.

Setting Goals

I've always been goal-oriented. Partly because of my upbringing, though, most importantly because I believe that progress is still progress no matter how slow it moves. Therefore, whenever I set goals for myself, I focus on the S.M.A.R.T. goals model. Being able to set S.M.A.R.T. goals has really helped me achieve previous successes. The model encourages that the goals we set should be:

• Specific
• Measurable
• Achievable
• Realistic
• Time-targeted

For example, when I went back to school, I had already identified the degree I wanted to earn. I knew the time period in which I wanted to earn it, the resources and steps required to make it happen and ultimately the purpose I wanted it to serve. Each course that I completed served as a milestone on the road to achieving that goal. After all milestones had been reached, I had earned my degree.

The people closest to me know that I work very hard to achieve the goals I set for myself. So much so that I often forget to celebrate the milestones I achieve, prior to continuing on my journey to achieve the next goal. And I often find that without doing so, I reach burnout much sooner. A good friend of mine encourages me to reflect on my accomplishments. He reminds me to celebrate myself and not by way of being boastful, but simply to look back on how far I've come.

When setting goals in life, I challenge you to set S.M.A.R.T. goals. No matter how long it takes to achieve them, remember that you are still making progress if you are moving forward. And on your journey to attaining your goals, don't forget to take the time to reflect on your progress. It is definitely possible to work on multiple goals at the same time and often this is the reality of moving forward. Many times, I find myself modifying my goals, whether it's to change the priority of the goal or to simply to adjust the timetable; don't be afraid to modify your own goals when needed. Lastly, when setting your goals, don't forget to be bold, focused, encouraged, motivated and well!

Love & Peace

Niki B.

Are you chasing seasons?

Chasing Seasons
An observation by Nichol Blair
 

I caught a glimpse of her. She had been away so long. Lost. Abducted by depression and consumed by fear. She had been attacked by time and suffocated by doubt. Empty without motivation or inspiration; the disappointing truths remained. Exhausted. She still ran.
 

See, she had been chasing seasons.

Once her passions were so strong; igniting wildfires. But it seemed as though her dreams had been extinguished. She could reappoint the fabrications that she once fed herself but she told me she didn’t have an appetite for them these days.

The seasons came and went, all leaving their mark on her heart. She had changed. Resuscitated by faith - still - she felt defeated. It seemed as though she didn’t know how to live without the pain. One could argue that she brought it on herself but, she would surely deny it. Misguided. She still ran.

Searching for answers, she pressed on. She emerged every time missing pieces of her heart, pieces of her mind, and pieces of her spirit. Discouraged. One could surmise that her self-esteem was low having put herself through those seasons but again, she would deny it. Broken. She wept.

Our seasons are simply our life experiences; some good and some not. Challenges and relationships that have burdened us. Dreams that we put on hold because life happened. Arguably, everyone experiences one or more of these observations throughout their lifetime. So my question to you is, are you chasing seasons? Because if you are, I'm here to tell you that it's okay. Life happens. Sometimes it's good and sometimes it's not. But when it's not, be sure to take time to recover. Recuperate from those negative experiences. Take time to heal and grow, and take what you've learned from those challenges and apply it in the future. Allow yourself to process your feelings as you move forward. Try your best not to let your negative experiences make you angry, bitter or mean. Proceed in life with kindness and an open mind, allowing your experiences to make you a better person. Evaluate the consequences - both positive and negative - of your decisions. Make them consciously.  And we can't always decide what happens to us in this life, but we can most certainly be mindful of how we react to it. So be bold, be beautiful, be courageous, be encouraged, be honest, be mindful, be kind and be well!

Love & Peace

Niki B.

An unapologetic journey.

For the first time in a really long time, I don't feel like I'm wasting my time. I sincerely believe that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. And this past year and a half has been incredibly challenging...for lack of a better phrase, in seemingly every area of my life. So I spent a great deal of time rewriting the vision and the journey brought about a rediscovery of self. And from this rediscovery of self, I have made conscious decisions about my life, the vision and my future...and for none am I apologetic.

The one thing that really stands out to me about this journey is that sometimes you have to walk away from poisonous relationships, regardless to whether they are friendships or partnerships. Sometimes, you have to remove angry and negative people from your every day life...even if they're family. Why? Because you are worth it! You are worthy of all good things and you deserve to have everything your heart desires!

Work hard, stay focused and if you believe in a higher power - trust in it. Understand that some people don't know how to be encouraging and/or supportive. And understand that ultimately, that isn't your problem. Live with purpose, set goals/milestones for yourself and keep moving forward. Life shouldn't be a race unless you want it to be. And progress is still progress no matter how slow it moves. So be beautiful, be bold, be encouraged, be inspired, be kind, be courageous, be encouraging, be supportive, be conscious and be well!

Love & Peace

Niki B.

Is your roof leaking?

When I was a little girl, the family room of the house I grew up in used to have an open beam ceiling and a flat roof and every time it would rain, the roof leaked. You could always smell the wet wood before you saw the water and because of how the water would run down the wood beams, where the water dripped didn't necessarily mean that’s were the leak was. My parents, having other financial obligations, were unable to buy a new roof or even have it professionally repaired for some time. So my dad would study the leak inside while it was raining and when the rain subsided, he would climb up to the roof, try to find the hole/leak and patch it up. Eventually, they had enough money saved to purchase a new roof and we never had a leak again.

I've found that life is a lot like that leaking roof, wherein we are the roof and the elements represent the unwanted challenges, setbacks, disappointments and failures that we encounter throughout our lifetime. And as we are exposed to more and more elements, we begin to wear down and sometimes we lose our effectiveness at being our best selves. We forget who we once were, our light dims and/or we lose focus on our purpose; all these things represent a leaking roof. Now you can try to abate the effects that the elements have on your life with quick fixes and fancy patchwork, but eventually you will need to purchase a new life. And new lives don't go on sale; they're always sold at full-price. But they can't be purchased with money. No, it'll cost you much more. You see, the best quality of lives can only be purchased with insecurities, self-doubt and fears. Because once you've traded those babies in, you’ve got yourself a brand new life!

So my question to you is - is your roof leaking? If so, you may be in need of a new one! Life happens to everyone and just because someone else's situation doesn't look like yours, doesn't mean that they don't have their own situation to deal with. And sometimes, the elements can negatively affect one area of our lives but project in another. Be mindful of this both within yourself and when dealing with others. And once you positively change your thinking, you are capable of positively changing your living. So do your best not to take on the victim mentality when the elements feel insurmountable. It may take a great deal of time and energy, but you will - one day - be able to purchase a new life! So be bold, be beautiful, be kind, be confident, be courageous, be encouraged and be well!

Love & Peace

Niki B.