Byproducts

Far stricter than my mother, my father never cut my sisters and me any slack. Although he maintains that he was not focused on raising women, but focused on raising people, a great many years I wished that he would have taught us to embrace our femininity. As a result of his method of child rearing, among other things, I learned how to be independent and confident that I could do great things. However, I also struggled for many years to understand the traditional role that society has placed on women - socially and professionally.

Whether we were doing homework, housework or yard work, my father wouldn't allow us to state that we had finished something until it was the best that it could be. At the time, I thought he was mean and that nothing was ever "good enough" to him. Today, I understand that he was teaching us the importance of good work ethic and being able to take pride in everything that we did. However, those two things weren't all we learned. We also learned that we were capable of so much more than we gave ourselves credit for and that putting in more effort at the start and taking our time to complete the task ahead of us, would ultimately save us time and effort in the end.

Additionally, I was taught to avoid being directly confrontational. Subsequently, I learned how to be passive aggressive. You see, some lessons and behaviors are taught as a byproduct of that which was intended to be taught. The truth is, we also learn things subconsciously; some good and some not. From the examples I gave, we can identify a few positive byproducts associated with the lesson in which I learned. Adversely, there were some byproducts that weren't intended to be taught. Therefore, I believe it is imperative that we consider, no matter how well intentioned we are, the byproducts of our actions, behavior and the lessons we aim to teach. In doing so, we will not completely remove the less favorable byproducts, however, it may help to alleviate many of them. So, as we consider the byproducts we leave behind, let's also remember to be mindful, conscious, courageous, kind, loving, bold, beautiful and well!

Love & Peace

Niki B.