Communication: Personal Relationships

I recently stumbled across a piece that I wrote about communicating in personal relationships. Alarmingly, the message is still relevant for me today. My personal relationships have become increasingly impersonal as more user-friendly social media outlets emerge. Even thinking about it now, I haven't had a face-to-face or phone conversation with several people that I care a great deal about, in quite some time. I wrote: 

"Who had I become - this person who thinks communication is considered efficient when only a text message had been sent or a "like" icon was clicked on a Facebook photo or status update? One or two comments left on a "wall" or a "tweet" with a hashtag for clarity had become the only way that I was allowing myself to be expressive -- personally. What happened to my ideologies that communication was most effective when non-verbal cues could be observed? Why was it that I was so willing to communicate, for lack of a better word, in a medium wherein everything was lost in translation? Had I accepted societal norms, thus, accepting that this emerging form of communication was in fact effective communication for young adults in America?"

I continue to subconsciously pretend that I'm content with the impersonal nature of the relationships I consider cultivated. My hope is that you are not as familiar as I with regard to these types of relationships. However, if impersonal relationships are a common theme in your life, I challenge you, as I've once again challenged myself, to take a proactive approach when communicating personally. If we expect our new or stagnant relationships to blossom into lifelong relationships, we must first make the effort, to interact on a more personal level. And as our relationships evolve into strong and healthy lifelong relationships, remember that they too must be maintained on a personal level.  

With that being said, please don't get me wrong. Social media and messaging tools are not bad things. They are a great way to stay connected when distance and time prevent you from physically being in the same space as the person/people in which you are interacting with. And while some messaging and social media outlets offer a more personal approach to virtual communication, it should not be the only form of communication you have with the people in which you wish to build strong relationships with. Relationships that require a higher level of personal interaction but lack nurturing and are deprived of growth opportunities, will not outlast the test of time. So while we make the effort to strengthen our personal relationships through face-to-face interactions, let's also remember to be bold, beautiful, mindful, courageous, kind, genuine, nurturing, uplifting, conscious, encouraging, inspiring and well!

Love & Peace

Niki B.

Byproducts

Far stricter than my mother, my father never cut my sisters and me any slack. Although he maintains that he was not focused on raising women, but focused on raising people, a great many years I wished that he would have taught us to embrace our femininity. As a result of his method of child rearing, among other things, I learned how to be independent and confident that I could do great things. However, I also struggled for many years to understand the traditional role that society has placed on women - socially and professionally.

Whether we were doing homework, housework or yard work, my father wouldn't allow us to state that we had finished something until it was the best that it could be. At the time, I thought he was mean and that nothing was ever "good enough" to him. Today, I understand that he was teaching us the importance of good work ethic and being able to take pride in everything that we did. However, those two things weren't all we learned. We also learned that we were capable of so much more than we gave ourselves credit for and that putting in more effort at the start and taking our time to complete the task ahead of us, would ultimately save us time and effort in the end.

Additionally, I was taught to avoid being directly confrontational. Subsequently, I learned how to be passive aggressive. You see, some lessons and behaviors are taught as a byproduct of that which was intended to be taught. The truth is, we also learn things subconsciously; some good and some not. From the examples I gave, we can identify a few positive byproducts associated with the lesson in which I learned. Adversely, there were some byproducts that weren't intended to be taught. Therefore, I believe it is imperative that we consider, no matter how well intentioned we are, the byproducts of our actions, behavior and the lessons we aim to teach. In doing so, we will not completely remove the less favorable byproducts, however, it may help to alleviate many of them. So, as we consider the byproducts we leave behind, let's also remember to be mindful, conscious, courageous, kind, loving, bold, beautiful and well!

Love & Peace

Niki B.