Authenticity Required

For many years I struggled with wanting to please people. Fearful that if I didn't make every effort possible to be the person that others wanted me to be, they wouldn't accept me. However, what I have come to realize is having that type of mentality is poisonous to my life. No matter how may people talk about us for not living and/or acting a certain way, we must remain committed to being our authentic selves.

Now, please don't get me wrong - being authentic doesn't mean that we shouldn't be adaptable. Additionally, I'm not saying that we should never concern ourselves with what other people think. After all, people's impressions of us play a huge part in our lives, specifically in how we network and progress in the world (both socially and professionally). Adaptability is one of the best qualities we can possess. Whether we are hanging out with friends or conversing with colleagues, having the ability to modify our behavior and the way in which we communicate effectively in any environment is a must. However, we mustn't compromise who we are (fundamentally) in an effort to please others.

Life truly becomes increasingly joyful when we stop pretending to be someone else. When we are no longer fearful of what other people think about the person we used to be, the person we are and the person we are becoming, we have the courage to be our authentic selves. So I challenge you, as I have challenged myself, to be authentically you. And while we are being our authentic selves, it is imperative that we remember to be bold, beautiful, kind, encouraged, courageous, genuine, conscious and well!

Love & Peace

Niki B.

Setting Goals

I've always been goal-oriented. Partly because of my upbringing, though, most importantly because I believe that progress is still progress no matter how slow it moves. Therefore, whenever I set goals for myself, I focus on the S.M.A.R.T. goals model. Being able to set S.M.A.R.T. goals has really helped me achieve previous successes. The model encourages that the goals we set should be:

• Specific
• Measurable
• Achievable
• Realistic
• Time-targeted

For example, when I went back to school, I had already identified the degree I wanted to earn. I knew the time period in which I wanted to earn it, the resources and steps required to make it happen and ultimately the purpose I wanted it to serve. Each course that I completed served as a milestone on the road to achieving that goal. After all milestones had been reached, I had earned my degree.

The people closest to me know that I work very hard to achieve the goals I set for myself. So much so that I often forget to celebrate the milestones I achieve, prior to continuing on my journey to achieve the next goal. And I often find that without doing so, I reach burnout much sooner. A good friend of mine encourages me to reflect on my accomplishments. He reminds me to celebrate myself and not by way of being boastful, but simply to look back on how far I've come.

When setting goals in life, I challenge you to set S.M.A.R.T. goals. No matter how long it takes to achieve them, remember that you are still making progress if you are moving forward. And on your journey to attaining your goals, don't forget to take the time to reflect on your progress. It is definitely possible to work on multiple goals at the same time and often this is the reality of moving forward. Many times, I find myself modifying my goals, whether it's to change the priority of the goal or to simply to adjust the timetable; don't be afraid to modify your own goals when needed. Lastly, when setting your goals, don't forget to be bold, focused, encouraged, motivated and well!

Love & Peace

Niki B.

Choose Forgiveness: Grudges Don't Build Bridges

Inevitably, we will feel that someone has wronged us in some way. From the stranger that parked in the parking space (in the packed parking lot) that we were waiting on for three minutes, to a loved one that didn't keep their word - we are left feeling, among other things, upset, frustrated, hurt and disappointed. And when we find ourselves experiencing these feelings, it becomes very easy to hold a grudge against the person that made us feel this way. However, it is then that we must choose to forgive them. We must choose not to hold that grudge against them.

Now, please don't get me wrong - there are so many hurtful things in life that take us a lot longer to process. And in these situations, forgiveness is not easily given. However, once we are able to forgive others, we give ourselves permission to move forward. And in giving ourselves permission to move forward, we allow joy to enter into our lives. We may never see the person that wronged us again, however, if we have a somewhat lifelong relationship with them, it's imperative that we remember - grudges don't build bridges. Because the truth is, forgiving someone always benefits us more than it does them. And maintaining positive relationships with people that will remain a part of our lives, will more than likely benefit us as well.

Whether the wrong was actual or perceived - intentional or not - we must be willing to let it go. Some wrongs are so hurtful that it will take more than our decision to forgive, to let it go...and that's okay. Because whether we process these wrongs by faith, counseling and/or time, we will feel much better once we've let it go. So, in life, don't ever forget to be bold, beautiful, willing, forgiving, loving, kind, courageous, positive and well!

Love & Peace

Niki B.

Pressing Through

I've spent the last three months consciously focusing on healing. Admittedly, life during Q4 2013 dealt some pretty devastating blows that knocked me to the ground. And day by day, through faith, family and friends, I progress in the effort to pick myself up and carry on. Met with many challenges, each day presents me with the opportunity to be the best me that I can be. Each day, I remind myself that my feelings and emotions are valid, that I am someone who is valuable and that I have a voice.

We are all remarkably human. We are beautifully flawed and we make mistakes. We know joy and we know sorrow. We have amazing resiliency and the power to change. We all have a purpose in this life and we are stronger than we ever thought we needed to be. We have highs and we have lows...and we have everything in between.

So, no matter what life throws at you, remind yourself that healing requires conscious effort, as well as time. Try not to rush the process. This is your life. And while you're living your life, remember to be bold, beautiful, courageous, conscious, strong, forgiving, focused, uplifting, kind and well!

Love & Peace

Niki B.